I can't believe that in seven days, my baby will be turning a year old. Wasn't this photo just taken yesterday?
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Connor Gibson Ford November 4, 2012 10 lbs. 3 oz. (yes, you read that correctly) 21 3/4 inches long
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For some reason, I'm a mix of emotions about this birthday. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled he will be one, and I can't even imagine the fun in store for us over the next twelve months. He will start walking, saying more words (hopefully momma is in that mix...throw me a bone here, Connor), and explore toddlerhood. He will continue to grow into the little guy that God created him to be.
But turning into a toddler means he's no longer my cuddly, newborn smelling baby. No more little coo's or fists curling up as he sneezes and then makes that adorable little ahh sound. Gone are the hours of tummy time, the days where he was obsessed with his feet and putting them in his mouth, and his excitement about naked baby time (where he would stand at the mirror in the bathroom before his bath and bang on the mirror and laugh and squeal at himself).
When he was 2-4 months old, he was happiest in the morning, and we called it happy time. We would lay him on our red ottoman and play and play with him. We would pull out all the stops to get a smile or a laugh! We also had fun on the ottoman when J would get home from work! He loves coming home to his happy boy. And now at 11 months, his happy boy waits for him at the back door and bangs on the door and squeals and laughs when he sees daddy pull in!
Writing this now, I guess I'm not entirely sad this year is over. There was that day when he was 5 weeks old that I nursed him ELEVEN times in one day. Yes, eleven. And I don't really miss the 9 weeks of waking up in the middle of the night to feed him. I sure don't miss that pump...or the sound of it! I don't miss the absolute head to toe diaper blowouts this little man used to make. I don't even know how he was capable of messes that big! I don't miss toting that super heavy infant carrier everywhere. Or the spit up - yech! Or the teething...oh, wait, we are still going through that. His sixth tooth finally broke through this weekend!
So, here I am. A mom of an almost one year old. Sometimes I want to pinch myself because I still can't believe he is here with us and that he is our gift from God.
He's growing up, and he is proof that life passes us by far too quickly. Have I stopped to really enjoy every moment with him? I don't want to forget anything, and I'm afraid that the mark of one year means that I'll start forgetting. I have a bad memory as it is, and with the lack of sleep in the last year that can't be a good mix.
Most of all, I am thankful for Connor. I am grateful that God knows our hearts so intricately and made him so perfectly for us. On a daily basis, Connor's life reminds me of our Father's grace, mercy, trust and provision for our lives. Each night before I go to bed, I go into his room and cover him up and rub his back and pray for him. Every night is a different prayer, depending on our day and what's going on in our lives. I pray that he will desire a close relationship with Christ. I pray that he will be a good friend to others. I pray that he will love his family. I pray that he will pursue God's calling for his life. And like our pastor said at his baptism, I pray all God's blessings on him all the days of his life.
Proverbs 22:6 is never far from my heart.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Being a mommy has challenged me to be a better Christian. I guess you could say that even at eleven months old, Connor is making me a better person, and praise God for that.
Thank you God for the absolute honor of being Connor's mommy. Help me to cherish every moment of every day so that when I look back on these sweet years, my heart swells up with beautiful memories.
Now someone get me a Kleenex.
Brittney